My beloved
by N.I.B
Summary: When 2 old friends are summound to the Council of Elrond, will old feelings & memories of the past resurface? Can the Fellowship survive their emotions & can these emotions be fought by the 2 people who will never forget. Slash Legolas & Aragorn
1. The fated

Legolas stood at the rail of his balcony, while he closed his eyes and breathed deeply. His mind had been clouded for days now, with thoughts. Deep thoughts, impure thoughts and he tried to will them away, but they just flowed back, like the ocean and its mighty waves. He tightened his grip on the rail and opened his eyes. Legolas tried to think about something else, and for the time being, it worked.  
  
How he loved Rivendell. With all its splendour and enchantment, he valued Rivendell almost as much as his beloved Mirkwood. Mirkwood. Legolas thought longingly. He hadn't been back in what seemed like an eternity and he missed everything: the forests, the tall trees, the steamy rivers, and his father. As he listened to the birds twittering he smiled to himself.  
  
We are never apart, my son. Listen to the words of the birds, for they will tell you what my heart is saying, that I am with you, always.  
  
"You will be with me always, father," Legolas said to himself as the birds flew from tree to tree.  
  
"My Prince," the voice came as no surprise to Legolas, as he had heard its footsteps. Legolas turned around to look at one of his companions from Mirkwood. "The council has been called and you have been summoned." The elf said, bowing.  
  
"I am coming Carangil," Legolas smiled at him and the elf left. He will be there, I am sure of it. Legolas thought almost excitedly as he walked into his room. He dressed into a brownish tunic and made his way down the elaborately decorated halls of Rivendell.  
  
  
  
Legolas took his seat, outside in the cool shade, next to Carangil and sank deep into his seat. As the council for the Ring began, Legolas tried to keep his eyes on Elrond, and what he was saying, but every now and then, they found their way over to Aragorn and he snapped himself back into attention. Legolas watched intently as the hobbit called Frodo, brought forth the Ring. He swallowed. So it is true then. This Ring must be destroyed. As if voicing his thoughts, Elrond said that it must be destroyed and then a brash dwarf, sitting a few seats away from Legolas, drew up his axe and brought it down on the ring. Legolas shielded his face as the pieces flew in different directions with an intense force. He managed to sneak another look at Aragorn, whose face had gone pale. He was staring at the hobbit and Legolas saw that Frodo was holding his head, as if a severe pain had struck his head. When Elrond spoke again, Legolas listened to him as he explained how the Ring must be destroyed. Then a man sitting opposite Legolas spoke up, and he recognised him as Boromir. He stood up and looked at everyone as he spoke. He spoke of the Ring being a gift and he spoke of his home Gondor, very passionately. It was only when Aragorn spoke that Legolas gave his full attention to the person who had been haunting his thoughts.  
  
"And what would a ranger know of such matters?" Boromir said distastefully to Aragorn. In a quick reflex action, Legolas was up facing Boromir, his gaze piercing his façade.  
  
  
  
"This is no mere ranger! He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance," Legolas said to Boromir and he narrowed his eyes at the elf.  
  
"Aragorn? This is Isildur's heir?" Boromir said, eyeing Aragorn with more dislike.  
  
"And heir to the thrown of Gondor," Legolas added and Boromir snapped his head back in his direction.  
  
"Havu dat Legolas." Legolas looked startled at Aragorn. Sit down Legolas? He spoke to me in Elvish? Legolas knew Aragorn could speak it, but he had never used it on him before.  
  
"Gondor has no heir," he spat at Legolas. "Gondor needs no heir." Boromir turned to look at Aragorn. From that moment on, Legolas never took his eyes off Elrond. When Boromir spoke again, Legolas felt his heart beat quicken, he did not enjoy the company of this man, he was set in his ways and there was something else, that Legolas could not make out. Something that was disturbingly wrong.  
  
"Have you heard nothing that Lord Elrond had said? The Ring must be destroyed," Legolas said again, standing up. He spoke to everyone, but directed his comments at Boromir. Except this time it was not Boromir who stood up, but the Gimli the dwarf who had brandished his axe.  
  
"And I suppose you think you're the one to do it?" he snapped and Legolas fixed him with a menacing stare. Dwarves. He thought infuriated.  
  
"I'll be damned if I see the Ring in the hands of an ELF!" Gimli's words hit like a stinging slap across the cheek and Carangil and the other elves Legolas was with, stood up. Legolas was too quick for them though, and put his hands out to hold them back. A full-scale argument broke out and amidst the confusion, Legolas managed to spot Aragorn, and he was sitting, staring at him. Legolas swallowed and tried to restrain his companions, who wanted to get their hands into the dwarves.  
  
"I will take the Ring to Mordor," a little voice said. The hobbit, Frodo stood behind everyone and as they turned to face him, Legolas admired his courage. Gandalf, who was standing next to Legolas, had a very grave look on his face, but went to stand next to Frodo anyway. He muttered something to Frodo, as he placed a hand on his shoulder. Next it was Aragorn's turn. He walked over from where he had been sitting and squatted down so he was face-to-face with Frodo.  
  
"If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my sword," he said positively to Frodo. Legolas followed suit as he smiled and Frodo.  
  
"And you have my bow."  
  
"And my axe," Gimli said suddenly and Legolas sighed. What axe? He thought as he saw the pieces scattered around the seats. Then Boromir stood up and said that Gondor would help if this was indeed the will of the council. Then, to my utmost surprise another hobbit joined his friend Frodo, and said that he was coming too. Lord Elrond didn't seem to mind this, as he smiled at the hobbit.  
  
"Hey! We're coming too!!" cried another hobbit and as Legolas looked up, two more hobbits ran and came to stand next to Frodo and his friend. Lord Elrond's eyes widened and as he looked at them all, the corners of his mouth curled upwards into a smile.  
  
"Nine companions," he said, almost to himself. "You shall be, the Fellowship of the Ring."  
  
Legolas smiled and he looked over at Aragorn, and if he sensed he was looking at him, flickered his dark eyes as the left corner of his mouth moved upwards for a quick smile.  
  
"Right then, where're we going?" One of the hobbits said and Legolas laughed inside himself. What a peculiar race.  
  
  
  
Aragorn paced the corridors of Rivendell searching for his muse. The day had held many things for his mind to absorb and as he walked past rooms, scanned them for the one who could make everything right.  
  
"Ranger," came the soft flowing voice and Aragorn stopped in his tracks.  
  
"I was looking for you," he said softly, turning around to face Arwen.  
  
"I know, that is why I found you first," she beamed, her eyes pouring into the deepest cracks of his anxiety. Aragorn shivered. He usually liked it when she gave him those long searching looks, but he had things inside his mind at this point, which he preferred to keep to himself. He broke his gaze from hers and Arwen looked perturbed.  
  
"You look for me, and yet you do not wish me to seek you," she sighed, brushing her hand on the side of his face. Aragorn shivered again. Her hands were as cold as ice.  
  
"My Evenstar, I have many things-" she put a finger up to his lips and smiled.  
  
"I will wait for you forever, because I have until forever. You do not, you seek to do so many things and until you have sorted out what it is you want, I will wait." She moved forward to kiss him, but he moved his face and took both her hands in his.  
  
"You know me better than I know myself." He kissed her on her forehead and turned from her. Arwen stood, watching him, until he disappeared into the shadows of the passage. As Arwen stood by herself, a single tear fell from her eye and she looked after the departed Aragorn.  
  
"All that is gold does not glitter and not all those who wonder are lost," she repeated the wise words of Bilbo.  
  
"Farewell my dear Estel."  
  
  
  
Legolas was filled with anxiety. Pledging his bow seemed easy enough, but he found himself struggling with whether or not he could see it through. Then there was the prospect of being alone, with him. Legolas was not sure if he could endure it again. After the duty of the Fellowship had been fulfilled, he would go back to his beloved Mirkwood, and never see him again. He was sure that if that has to happen again, he would die of a broken heart. But Legolas saw the way he looked at her. All he could expect from the object of his fondness was a mere smile. After all, how could he contend with the Evenstar?  
  
  
  
"Have you come to wish me well?" Legolas said suddenly, not taking his eyes off the scenery.  
  
"I never could steal up on you, my brother." Legolas turned around to face Carangil as he walked out to him on the balcony.  
  
"That is true," he smirked and Carangil smiled. "Take word to my father that I will return in time," Legolas said putting a hand on his friend's shoulder.  
  
"I will miss you," he said almost sadly.  
  
"Be merry. For today is the start of a new chapter, for all of us." Legolas hugged his friend and as Carangil left his room, Legolas felt his knees go weak. He steadied himself against the banister and closed his eyes. I feel this journey will change my fellow companions and I forever. Legolas thought gravely. He picked himself up and suddenly; he heard a sound at the door again.  
  
"Trying to steal up on me again?" Legolas smiled as he returned his gaze to the birds outside the window.  
  
"I would never steal up on you," a profound voice said. Legolas spun around and stared.  
  
"I- I thought-"  
  
"That I was someone else?" Legolas closed his open mouth and gave his intruder a soft smile.  
  
"You know me too well Aragorn," Legolas said, moving closer to him.  
  
"How long has it been, friend?" Aragorn asked when Legolas had stopped, inches away from him.  
  
"Longer than anything I've had to wait for in my lifetime." Aragorn laughed at the elf's comment and he sighed.  
  
"I feel the same way." Legolas watched Aragorn as he wrung his hands again and again.  
  
"Is everything well with you?" Legolas asked and Aragorn looked quickly up at him.  
  
"I saw you watching me at the council." Aragorn's eyes widened as if he hadn't meant to say that, and Legolas' pale cheeks were mixed with a tint of crimson.  
  
"Can I not look upon an old friend?"  
  
"Damn you elves!" Aragorn yelled suddenly. "You always know what to say! I cannot catch you off guard!"  
  
"Do you wish to?" Legolas asked, as he looked confused and concerned at the emotional Aragorn.  
  
"You were watching me! And I was watching you!!" he yelled and Legolas shook a little.  
  
"Yes, I know. I saw you too," Legolas' voice was so soft and careful that Aragorn stopped raging and looked soulfully at him. Then with little hesitation, he took a tiny step forward and Legolas could almost taste Aragorn's flavour, the crushed leaves and mist, as he breathed on his neck. Legolas' lips quivered as Aragorn moved his face towards his. This is too soon. Legolas thought helplessly as Aragorn closed his eyes. Legolas inhaled deeply as he screwed his eyes up.  
  
"How is the Lady Arwen?" Legolas faltered at his own words as Aragorn withdrew a little to look at him. A weak smile crossed his lips and he stepped backwards. Legolas watched him advance to the door and with one final attempt, Aragorn looked longingly at Legolas. He opened his mouth to say something and then closed it, disappearing out the door. Legolas stood for a few seconds and then crumpled to the floor. He struggled to get up, supported by his supple arms as he breathed hard. If I ever die, it will be of a broken heart.  
  
"Meldanya," Legolas said in Elvish as he struggled to gain control of himself. Aragorn, who was listening from outside his door, had a look upon his face, as if someone had torn out his heart and crushed it in front of him.  
  
"My beloved," he repeated the word's of Legolas in the common tongue, as he fought back the tears.  
  
"I will wait for you," he whispered as he turned and walked solemnly down the passage.  
  
  
  
*Author's Note* Okay… so I don't know how many Legolas/Aragorn fics I've read on this site, but they're all BRILLIANT! So I decided to try and make up one of my own :) Well, if you could find it in your heart to review, I'd be very grateful! Everything belongs to JRR Tolkien that wonderful man! Hope you enjoyed… and if you did, there IS more to come! 


	2. Musings

Translation of Elvish speech in *:)*  
  
  
  
Aragorn was worn-out. He could feel it in his inner being; he was being drained, slowly but surely by his feelings. A shadow loomed over his mind and in every spare moment that he wasn't thinking about Frodo or the Ring, he was consumed by his sensations. Sensations that were crying out, and that he was ignoring. While crying out though, they always cried one name, the name that Aragorn was watching intently as he polished Andúril. Its blade was already gleaming, but it gave him an excuse to stare into the distance at the lanky, lissom figure that stood, silhouetted against the pale pink shade of the twilight. Watching was all Aragorn seemed to do nowadays, for he dared not to speak to the elf. The remaining Fellowship could not help but notice that something was wrong, but kept their minds on the Ring. As the elf in the distance stirred, so did Aragorn. He began to wonder if the elf knew that his dark eyes were fixed on his back, on his thin golden hair that was blowing in the slight breeze. He wondered what the elf was thinking and if he was thinking the same torment that kept Aragorn awake at night.  
  
  
  
Legolas shivered, it was not like him to shiver. But then again, it was not like him to stay awake at night, or to have the same dream over and over. He could feel the Ranger's eyes on him. Burning two deep holes into his very soul and Legolas couldn't stand it. Night was coming and sleep would be near, but he would not bat an eyelid as he kept watch all through the long night.  
  
"What is it you want Pippin?" Legolas said softly, hearing the little hobbit's distinct footsteps behind him.  
  
"Um, Legolas. We were wondering if you could speak to Strider on behalf of us."  
  
"Us?" Legolas asked turning to face Pippin and Merry. He gave a weak smile as they stood, shivering a little.  
  
"Are you cold?"  
  
"No, no we're fine," said Merry as he wrapped his cloak tighter around him.  
  
"But," Pippin said, lowering his voice. "We stole food out of Strider's sack today."  
  
"We were hungry," Merry added as Legolas' eyes shot between them.  
  
"So we thought maybe you could speak-"  
  
"I cannot speak to him for you, but he will not be angry with you. It is not you he is angry with," Legolas said kindly, staring at the two hobbits, who looked rather relieved.  
  
"That's good then," Merry said, turning to walk away, but Pippin grabbed him by his arm.  
  
"Who's he angry with?" Pippin asked and Legolas looked away.  
  
"It is getting dark, I suggest you stay close to Gandalf." Pippin didn't ask any more questions and him and Merry made their way back to the fire, where they could smell food. Legolas returned his gaze to the horizon and closed his eyes to find some solitude, but instead, the memories came back to haunt him all over again.  
  
  
  
/I cannot come with you/ a man's voice said as he choked on his words.  
  
/I thought when this was over; we would be together/ a lighter voice said as he stepped out from the shadows.  
  
/I cannot come with you/ the other voice repeated, even more grief stricken than before.  
  
/After everything we have been through, can you walk away from me?/ the lighter voice was trembling as he waited for a response.  
  
/Can you?/ it asked again, with greater emphasis.  
  
/I'm sorry/  
  
/It is her, is it not. It has always been about her. The way she would bind herself to you forsaking the immortal life/ There was a silence and the lighter voice broke into silent tears.  
  
/But has she? No, she has not. If I thought that in an instant you would feel more for me if I-/ the voice paused and then breathed deeply.  
  
/I would give up my life for you. So make your choice. Walk away or stay with me for time without end/  
  
/Time without end?/ the other voice finally said.  
  
/Time without end for which of us? You cannot give up your life, because I will not let you/  
  
/You speak in riddles for if you leave, I will die. But you say you will not let me/  
  
/I must leave Legolas…/  
  
  
  
"Legolas? LEGOLAS!!" Legolas jerked his head angrily towards Gimli who had disturbed his train of thought.  
  
"What is it you want dwarf?" Legolas said in an annoyed tone as he stared at Gimli.  
  
"I was thinking of giving you your supper, but now I'm not to sure, elf," he said holding  
  
a plate of food in his hand. Legolas hadn't eaten in days and the sizzling sausages looked and smelt to good to pass up.  
  
"I am not hungry," he said stubbornly, turning away from Gimli.  
  
"Fine!!" he shouted as he threw the plate on the ground. Walking away, Legolas was sure he had heard him mutter, 'stupid elves' and he shook his head. As Legolas looked down at the food, that was now covered in dirt and he sighed deeply. He sat down wearily on the ground and rested his back against a tree trunk. Crossing his legs, Legolas closed his eyes for a moment. He could hear the Fellowship around the fire, he could smell the burning wood and the dusty ashes as they collected in the hearth. And he could hear the birds. The sweet, twittering birds and he bit his lips as his eyes misted over.  
  
  
  
"How I need you father," he said quietly and all of a sudden Legolas heard a crunching of leaves behind him. Quick as a flash he was up, wielding his knife straight at the intruder's throat. He became highly infuriated though, when he discovered that the intruder was in fact Aragorn.  
  
"What is it you want Ranger?" Legolas said for the third time that day, placing his knife back in its holder as Aragorn frowned.  
  
"Ranger? Since when have you called me that?"  
  
"Since just a moment ago," Legolas snapped, beginning to walk away from him.  
  
"Where are you going?" Aragorn asked desperately.  
  
"To be alone."  
  
"With your thoughts?" Aragorn asked and Legolas stopped suddenly with his back to him.  
  
"I have them too. I do remember and I- I now know what I did was wrong and I can imagine how you felt-"  
  
"Imagine how I felt?" Legolas said, trying to keep his voice calm as he turned around.  
  
"You walked away from me, after I offered you my life!!" Aragorn had no reply to this comment as Legolas moved closer to him.  
  
"When I saw you in Rivendell-" he paused, contemplating as Aragorn's eyes travelled over his face.  
  
"I thought you had forgotten. When you came to me, you seemed different. As if all had been forgotten." Aragorn opened his mouth but Legolas spoke before him.  
  
"Maybe it would have been better that way, but tell me something. If I offer myself to you, again, will you leave me, again?" Aragorn tried to speak but Legolas wasn't finished.  
  
"Does she know?"  
  
"I do not love her, I cannot love her," Aragorn whispered and Legolas smiled weakly.  
  
"I find that hard to believe," Legolas said so silently that Aragorn began to wonder if he had said it at all.  
  
"Do your memories haunt you?" Legolas asked and Aragorn looked sadly at him.  
  
"Do not ask me such things. All my memories of you are pure but you make them sound evil."  
  
"Maybe they are. Maybe they were never meant to be," Legolas said as he walked past Aragorn.  
  
"Vá lelya *Do not go*," he said quietly and Legolas stopped instantly.  
  
"How dare you converse with me in my language!"  
  
"So now I'm not worthy to speak your language? Who made you a God?" Aragorn said sarcastically and Legolas glared at him.  
  
"My language is unadulterated, but when you speak it, it sounds immoral." Aragorn did not stop Legolas as he turned to walk away. He just watched him as he silently trudged off into the forest.  
  
  
  
"Is it morning?" Sam asked wearily as he crept out from underneath his blanket.  
  
"Yes it is," a soft voice said from high up on a rock.  
  
" Good morning Legolas," Sam smiled as he went to sit nearby the elf.  
  
"Sleep well?"  
  
"Oh very well, thank you," Sam replied as he looked at Legolas out of his half-open eyes and frowned.  
  
"You didn't get any sleep again, did you?" Legolas glanced at the hobbit, half amused and then looked away.  
  
"I do not tier easily." Frodo who yawned distracted Sam, and he slipped off the rock to check on him.  
  
"You need rest, like all of us," Sam said, before walking off. Legolas sighed as he returned his gaze to the rising sun.  
  
  
  
"Feirya ya istaccë *He is right you know*," Legolas heard a familiar voice warn in his mother tongue.  
  
"Istani mernya *I know my needs*," he replied without turning to face Aragorn. Aragorn however, jumped over a rock to stand in front of Legolas, blocking his view of the sun.  
  
"Heca *Go away*,"  
  
"Ványë *I will not*," Aragorn said, knelling down to face him.  
  
"Hlarsina? *Hear that?*," Legolas said suddenly, looking up at the sky. Aragorn gave him a confused look and Legolas smiled.  
  
"Ai, úva. I hissë i filici ye mi i gwelw *O, you would not. The sweet song of the birds is in the air*."  
  
"Atarcca *Your father*," Aragorn whispered and Legolas snapped his head up to face him.  
  
"You know nothing about my father!!" Legolas said through gritted teeth as he jumped gracefully off the rock. Aragorn followed suit and landed with a thump at his side.  
  
"I can see it in you eyes. You miss him terribly, when was the last-"  
  
"That is none of your business!"  
  
"You cannot avoid me forever," Aragorn said quietly so that the other members of the Fellowship could not hear.  
  
"You think so?" Legolas said, mockingly and then his face softened. His looked lost and he eyes contemplated Aragorn's face.  
  
"I have to stay away from you because-" he paused and Aragorn looked anxious.  
  
"Because I do not trust myself."  
  
  
  
"Aragorn!" a strong voice came from behind him. Aragorn tore his gaze from a fraught Legolas and spun round to face Boromir, who looked completely agitated.  
  
"The wizard says we must leave now, he says he senses something," Boromir added sarcastically.  
  
"I do not," Legolas interrupted and Boromir placed and icy stare on him.  
  
"Well then, elf, you have failed to live up to your duty of this Fellowship." Boromir turned away, gloating and Legolas looked furious.  
  
"He didn't mean-"  
  
"I do not want to hear you," Legolas snapped at Aragorn as he picked up his knives and followed after Boromir.  
  
"Legolas please," Aragorn called after him, but Legolas did not respond.  
  
  
  
The events that had occurred that day swirled in Legolas' mind as he stepped ahead of Gandalf amidst the snow. An image flashed before him as he thought about the birds- spies of Saruman that had flow across the Fellowship's resting place. A voice echoed the dismal calling that Legolas did not want to hear, the calling to go through the Mines of Moria, the suggestion had hung over him ever since Gimli had opened his mouth. But Legolas could not help thinking about the way that every so often, Aragorn would sneak a look at him. Legolas had never been so torn in all his life. He wanted Aragorn. He wanted him so badly that he could not think straight, or eat or sleep. It seemed easy enough, but every time Legolas wanted to confront him, he thought about the past. About the way his heart had been wounded. This journey had reopened that wound and Legolas was too afraid that it might never heal, if he was to make himself vulnerable again. But there was no time for emotions now. The wind swirled dangerously around Legolas as flecks of snow clouded his vision. In the far distance he could hear a man's voice, chanting.  
  
"There is a foul voice in the air," Legolas said and Gandalf, who was half sinking in snow, gasped.  
  
"It's Saruman!!" he yelled. And suddenly there was a flash of lighting.  
  
"He's trying to bring down the mountain!! Gandalf, we must turn back!!" Aragorn shouted from behind and Legolas turned to look at him. He shielded two of the hobbits from the stinging snow and Legolas could not help but feel a little anxious for them. All of a sudden, Gandalf started to chant too, but to no avail as another bolt of lightening struck and a boulder of snow was dislodged from its seat. In that spilt moment, before the Fellowship was immersed in snow, Aragorn's tired eyes found their way over to Legolas' alert ones, and they locked. In that silent spilt second, more was said with their eyes, than with any words they both could have mustered up. But the next thought on their minds, was getting out of the heavy snow that had buried itself on top of them. Legolas was the first one up, and he wasn't calm until he saw Aragorn's head shoot up out the snow. The next few moments all ran in slow motion to him as Gandalf spoke and then Gimli, Legolas only came to attention when Frodo announced that he thought they should go through the Mines of Moria. Legolas opened his mouth to say something, but held his tongue and Gandalf gave his seal of approval.  
  
  
  
Moria, Legolas thought in horror as they made their way down the now- peaceful mountain. He walked with his head down, but ears ever vigilant.  
  
"Legolas," Aragorn whispered from behind him. Legolas shuddered a little and he scolded himself for not hearing Aragorn behind him. They slowed down their pace, so that they could both be at the back, as the Fellowship walked ahead.  
  
"M-Moria, I do not wish to go there," he stammered and Aragorn rubbed a hand soothingly on his back. Legolas relaxed under his touch, but swallowed hard when Aragorn's hand found it's way to his. He glanced quickly at Aragorn and then at their clasped hands.  
  
"They will-"  
  
"Úvantë *They will not*," Aragorn said as he squeezed Legolas' hand assuring. Legolas smiled as he walked hand-in-hand with Aragorn. He felt that this moment should be preserved and looked back on, but he could not help but think about what lay ahead, about the Mines of Moria.  
  
  
  
*Author's Note* Okay… so chapter two finished!! YAY! First of all I want to say a BIG thank you to everyone that reviewed, it really is wonderful and I can't stress that fact enough!! Also, a quick thank you to Invidi, your review was absolutely perfect. Every author needs constructive criticism and your review was fantastic!! Thank you :)  
  
Well, as usual everything belongs to the maestro himself, JRR Tolkien and I am a mere follower! I also want to say that the Elven language I've used is not mumbo jumbo, which I've made up, but actual Elven speech that I found on a very dedicated Tolkien sight!! I don't know if anyone has used it in their fan fics before, so I decided to give it a try!  
  
Also, if you could spare a second to share your review with me, I would also be delighted!! And finally, if you enjoyed it there will be more, so until next time :) 


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